Your Soul Cafe: Conversations that Open Hearts and Inspire Actions

“Sisters are fierce, fragile, and forever.” ~Anon
After seven months of silence from my alma mater and those mentioned in September’s blog post “Abuse, Betrayal, and Mean Girls at 65″I was done
All weekend, information trickled into newsfeeds about my college reunion and my “college sisters,” triggering a tsunami of emotions. 

Today after being unwilling to speak about the lack of any resolution to a trolling, name-calling, and defaming situation in my college alumnae group, I posted this on Facebook: 

“It’s heart-breaking to remove your undergraduate credentials from everywhere; happily I have two Masters’ degrees. Silent abuse isn’t allowed in my house. 

Removing words that tied me to the past and to a college that no longer empowered me, seemed like a proactive ritual that would help me let go and move on…

Natalie Goldberg’s advice inspired today’s post and the previous blog post “Abuse, Betrayal, and Mean Girls at 65.” What’s also been interesting and sad to see (or not see) are the women who I thought were my closest college sisters and their complete silence about my story which is a universal one. Conversely, college sisters who I hadn’t heard from since our 1974 graduation showed up with keen insights and reflections! 

“Split open” with sadness, Facebook friends weighed in about today’s post…and then, this is how my blood sister-sHero unexpectedly appeared:
Giving blood at Inova Hospital, VA.
“Cathy Raymond. Ahem, I’m the only woman who has the right and privilege to call you sister. Calling a group you’ve never met sisters waters that down. 

For perspective, you weren’t betrayed by someone who loves, cares, and has your best interests in mind. 
You were trolled by an anonymous, gutless critic.

Some women don’t address problems directly, but sideways or underhandedly. 
They lack confidence and power.
To correct what she thought was incorrect use of the group page, she could have messaged you directly and contacted the group page administrator. Done.
What she did instead was to try to defame you in front of the group of women you’ve found supportive.

Hard to develop the skill of being truthful and considerate at the same time.
Perhaps you could teach more about writing from your power at the college? 
It’s a poorly written bad review of your website, not your writing which she didn’t address.

Getting a bad review is the price we pay for putting ourselves out there, and the price most women are unwilling to pay…so we keep quiet.

I heard that some authors don’t do their own social media for that reason. Hard to be sensitive enough to write creatively and yet not let meanspirited jabs get to us.

You provide a great transformative service for many women, but not all women it appears. 
Her loss.

I’ve found some Christians get scared by talk of angels, moon signs, and divination. I steer clear of those topics in conversations with them both to respect their boundaries and my unwillingness to open myself to ridicule and scorn or just even having to explain my views. 
Too wearisome.

I applaud that you share your unique perspective about life and living without censoring for “What would a Southern Baptist want to hear?” 
Keep going. 
The women who need your help will find you.

Looks like you’ve graduated from college a second time. 

Maybe it’s not the place that it once was, a place you could express your unique God-given talents regardless of your religion. Alumnae pages are the best places to share your accomplishments. I hope the administration recognizes that. 

It’s not like you are selling shampoo.”

After reading the two Facebook posts, a heart sister suggested, 
Your blood sister is awesome. 
If I were you, I would use her as a role model to compare any other women with whom you are considering letting in close. 
Your true sister is a keeper.” 
Copy that.

I love and thank you, Cathy Sue–my sis, my sHero!
Radiant healer, writer, teacher and wise woman!

Join the Conversation


  1. Dearest Lore, you are surrounded by so much love and wisdom. I am glad you are letting go by writing and sharing your experience so we can all reflect on what was done to us and heal along with you and also reflect on where we were silent and decide to stand up and support our women friends and sisters. I can relate to how much it stings to be left out… for me incidents like that can trigger the most painful wounds. I also know that when you shine your light and become visible, it will stir resentments, jealousies and attacks from others who are not healed yet. Know that it is a mark of your next level of success and that you are in good company, all successful women experienced it in one form or another. Keep shining. Keep writing. Hugs.

  2. WOW Lore. Such a wide awakening moment. I'm sorry for what you went through, but what I've learned is that it takes pain or some kind hardship to shine on to us the blessings. Your sister did that for you, and dam are you so lucky to a sister like that. Keep writing. Much love.

  3. Awww, you are most kind, Rachel. Your reflections and suggestions are appreciated. I pray that this is DONE and DONE. TIime to move on to other happpy, creations. Yet as you said, lots of learnnins has unfolded in this painful growth process.

  4. I agree, I am very lucky to have my blood sis and also heart sisters, like you, Laura. The blessings are shining…I am moving on and through to other things less dramatic and painful. Thank YOU for your kind words.

  5. It's an interesting world we live in Lore, sometimes it's hard to understand why people react the way they do. May God be with you during your troubled times and may the Angels surround you in love.

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