At 65, I thought I would never have to deal with abuse, betrayal, and mean girls again.
If you allow.
And I did.
Others can collude in a “verbal cancer” that spreads as predominate as breast cancer.
Rewind to last Sunday night.
I enjoy seeing what ALL other alum are doing & not having this closed group monopolized, at times, by her self-serving promotional materials.
Finally, have some of you who “liked” her posts actually looked at her website? I’ve never met her & she’s welcome to pay to promote her divergent ideas elsewhere. But honestly, some of her website gave me the creeps.
Who could have ever thought that a “Damn Yankee”–a Freshman from MD and one of only two Roman Catholics in the college–could find lasting friendships in a Southern Baptist college?
And I write about this journey in my story, “Carbonated Holiness” in the anthology Gratitude and Grace. (amazon.com/author/loreraymond)
I am grateful, I am.
The college’s email response was…
The email had…
No expression of empathy or sympathy.
I’m to be silenced with my original post deleted?
I am raging that this mean-spirited post showed up on the alumnae group page– along with name calling and an invitation for other alumnae to join her in judgment that my posts are “self-promoting” and even more harming is that my website is “divergent” and “creepy.”
The college “sistah” using a Facebook pseudonym admits she doesn’t know me yet confidently attacks my character, intention, and brand. That’s a true tragedy–a woman attacking another woman.
“I am so sorry…”
“We talked. She’s going to call you, and the woman who posted about you. “
“Why hasn’t she called?”
“She’s busy getting ready for the Trustees’ meeting…”
(Research later revealed the meeting was set for October 11–a full month away.)
Unreal, surreal nonsense.
I’ve been attacked. Let me put you on hold. Get back to you later. Sometime…
In this morning’s conversation with my alumnae director, she stated: “I stand by my decision to delete the controversial post.”
My post wasn’t controversial. It was loving.
The abuser’s comments were controversial and unacceptable.
So your leadership decision is to delete all of the post? You missed an opportunity to take a stand against bullying and inappropriate behavior.
I rarely use this word but now I am shouting it out…
Shame, shame on all of you!
Shame on anyone who harms another by being silent.
You have a voice.
There’s a way to disagree: consider a one-to-one “sistah” conversation and not with veiled verbal attacks with a name and face that I can’t connect with.
I was silent when someone I loved “took” my virginity at 19–now the word would be rape.
I was silent for decades about the congressional administrative aide who sexually harassed me every day–an intern–with his unwelcomed touches, nuzzles, and comments during the summer of Watergate. (Anita Hill’s hearings brought these memories to the surface.)
I was silent as a first-year teacher about colleagues abusing elementary kids who used leather belts and whipped them for infringements.
I will not stay silent this time.
There is still pain and healing to move through any assault on one’s tender body, mind, and soul.
You tell your story.
We all need to tell our stories.